What Happened in 8 Years

It's been 8 years since the last time I made a post for my blog on BlogSpot. A lot happened and I'm a very different person from who I was in 2010 through 2015. I currently find a lot of rhetoric from my W.A.C.'s House of Rants and Other Oddities blog (AKA WACHROO) to be very disturbing. It's also worth mentioning I no longer go by the handle W.A.C. or WAC anymore. I feel like my online persona as W.A.C. and WAC eventually got so toxic that I would rather go by my real name on social media platforms, but I have zero interest in purging my past. I'm proud of the fact I was willing to say so many unpopular things throughout most of my life and not care if people got offended. In a society that is increasingly becoming more fake with manufactured authenticity, looking at my old blog post is refreshing to me. Like sure, I find some of the rhetoric disturbing, but it makes it more difficult for me to form nostalgic REMEMBER WHEN type of scenarios in my head when I have digital evidence of my lack of happiness. Sometimes I am horrified by stuff I said or what people said to me when I lurk Wayback Machine for old forum posts.

So what happened in 8 years? I began to attend San Jose State University AKA SJSU in January 2015. It didn't go anywhere near as well as I hoped it would largely because of health issues and finances. My Fall 2015 semester was negatively impacted by the prescription drugs I was on at the time and I had to cancel every class I took in Spring 2016 because my physical health became such a disaster. I don't trust the medical industry at all after how they negatively impacted my life. Topirimate in particular is the worst drug I have ever tried in my lifetime. I told my doctor to not prescribe me anything that would negatively impact my education, yet he prescribed me a medication known to cause brain damage. Cognitively, I don't feel I have ever been the same since I have done that drug. I told a bay area doctor known as Dr. Timothy Ong that I didn't like how the medication was affecting me, but he told me it would work eventually and that I need to keep taking it. I think a normal dosage is about 25MG, yet he prescribed me 200MG twice per day at some point in 2016 while I was also prescribed to Norco. It was a disaster and the rebound headaches I experienced after quitting Norco was some of the worst pain I experienced in my lifetime. It's ironic because I started taking prescription drugs to deal with my 24/7 migraine, but all the medications did was to make the situation a million times worse. I suffered so much in my twenties and it wrecked my outlook on life for that decade.

My 27th birthday was October 24th, 2016, so I experienced most of my late twenties in the late 2010's. My physical health sucked so bad back then to where I struggled to do much of anything with my life. I completed a few freelance assignments and that was about it in terms of work. However, a lot of my friends were doing well in that time period to where I socialized a lot. I used to hang out with friends every week. Throughout most of my twenties, I put a lot of effort into being a social person, which is good because relying on the internet for a social life has major drawbacks. I love that I have a lot of awesome online friends and irl friends. I did ruin a ton of friendships in my twenties and at 30 years old in 2020, but my friendships right now seem very stable. I think part of that is because I treat people with more respect nowadays compared to some of my bad behavior in the past. However, I'm not ashamed of my past bad behavior and I live without shame. Human beings are meant to make mistakes and learn from their failures. It's just part of being human. I did not accept being human when I was younger.

 

For much of my life, I had idealized versions of myself that I failed to achieve because who I wanted to be was not human. I think that's part of why I became so obsessed with political ideology. I tried different political ideologies like hats. In particular, my politics began to shift away from left-wing politics and more towards libertarian politics in 2019. This is largely because I realized I fell for Democratic party propaganda for most of my life. America produces some of the most effective propaganda in the world. The two party system in particular has really damaged people's perception of political issues. Neither of the major two political parties will ever represent your interests or my interests. They are big tent parties that rigged our political system to their benefit. I simped hard for the Libertarian party in 2020 and 2021, but I no longer trust any political party in America after the Mises caucus hijacked the Libertarian party in 2022. I don't like attaching a political label to myself anymore because I don't like being stereotyped, but I view myself as an anti-statist because I prefer to live in a world without government. I also view myself as an anti-theist because I prefer to live in a world without religion. My hatred for Christianity was more extreme when I was younger, but I still hate religion. I can't help it. I wish people would think for themselves, rather than seek out collectives to tell them how to think and behave. I made the horrible mistake of trading religion with politics when I was younger, then treating my old liberal political views like a religious philosophy. I think most people can't deal with being alone, so they alter their personality because they care too much about what other people think of them. I feel like too many atheists fill the void of no religion with politics. Being a political agnostic, then later a political atheist when I was younger did not make me any happier or more fulfilled. It's a waste of my time and energy to invest so much of myself into politics unless that energy is used for artistic pursuits. Our electoral process is rigged against anybody who does not support the Democratic or Republican parties. I hate both political parties equally.

My early thirties was one of the ugliest time periods of my life. The pandemic began when I was 30 years old and it brought me to insanity. I developed an unhealthy addiction to pornography to cope with reality, which made reality more difficult for me to deal with. The only upside to watching so much porn in my early thirties is that it inspired me to put more effort into weight lifting. Watching beautiful men and women fuck each other for entertainment inspired me to want my body to become more beautiful. I also found it easier to lift weights for hours if I'm watching adult entertainment while lifting weights. lololololololol I'm more physically fit than I was for the vast majority of my life, but I still struggle with a ton of chronic health issues. I also don't like the aging process at all. Like the more muscle I build, it doesn't really make me any happier. The older I get, the more ugly I feel when I look at a mirror. I fully accept that I will eventually become an ugly old man. That's just life. I'll still put a ton of effort into fitness for the rest of my life, but I'm not delusional enough to believe I'll ever look as good as I want to look. I'm going to give the NO FAP trend a try in 2023 largely because I don't like some of the effects porn addiction had on my life. I don't have interest in dating outside of lust and I've seen too many people wreck their lives as a byproduct of horny couples enjoying their sexuality. I hate human sexuality largely because I never want to deal with consequences to sex, which is obnoxious because my sex drive is way higher in my thirties than it ever was in my teenage years or twenties. Nearly every day, my body is practically screaming to me, YOU NEED SEX! I hate it, but there isn't much I can do about it that wouldn't have negative outcomes toward my life.

The isolation of the pandemic negatively impacted my social life. A lot of my friends moved further away from me and hardly anyone I know in this area lives on their own anymore unless they are a monogamous couple with a dual income. Trying to make new friends is unappealing because I wish I could hang out with my current friends more often, but it's difficult with the craziness of the pandemic. I feel like I aged a ton during this pandemic because of all the stress I experienced. I lost tolerance for people treating me like shit in 2020 because I don't have the energy to deal with stuff like that anymore. One unfortunate aspect to youth is that we often waste a lot of our energy on dumb stuff that is a waste of time. The vast majority of social drama someone deals with in their twenties will be irrelevant to their lives when they get older.

One hobby I took up during the pandemic is speedrunning. I enjoyed multiplayer gaming way more than single player gaming in my twenties, but since I was more isolated during the pandemic, I played single player games more often. I had interest in the hobby of speedrunning for a long time, but I never committed myself to it until 2020 when I began to speedrun Sonic Advance 2. I love that game and I plan to continue making video content about it in the future. YouTube is one of my biggest priorities right now. I enjoy making videos for the platform, especially ever since I bought a new computer in 2021 with the Biden stimulus money. A lot of stuff I wanted to do on a computer for most of my adulthood, I can finally do it and I'm doing everything I can to become a great content creator. The video I released in 2022 that I'm the most proud of is called Sonic Origins: Game Facts Special. My next video for that channel will be the most ambitious video I have ever made. That brings me a lot of hope for my future since I have wanted to make great quality video entertainment for much of my life. The Sonic Origins video only took me three weeks to make, where as the current video I'm working on has been in development since September 2022.

Thank you to everyone who took time out of your day to read this blog post. If you would like me to make more blog posts on WACHROO, let me know. Currently a lot of images from my WACHROO blog are broken, which I plan to fix in the future. I also made a lot of blog posts on Newgrounds during the pandemic. While I prefer making blog posts for Newgrounds over BlogSpot, it feels good to post something under the wac89 handle. I take pride in that I'm willing to use my real name nowadays, but I also miss having more anonymity. Merging my online and irl life in 2010 by making a Facebook account was weird for me. I feel like I lost a lot of my past self when I made that decision, but human beings aren't meant to be stagnant.